Hey guys! in the spirit of keeping the love of Throwback Thursday alive, i present to you my 6th day of eating better. Its been roughly six months and while i’ve slid slightly astray, i am absolutely smirking at my old self. I still have attitude about eating better. I will always choose a burger over this mess in my mind, but it’s hard to argue the results. It gets…..more routine. I wouldn’t say easier. But it becomes habit soon enough. So here is some throwback love for you guys. See ya next week!
I’m starting to feel the void. I feel as if I’m missing so much and I haven’t even been absent a full week!
Add to the withdrawal of Facebook and Twitter the withdrawal from diet soda and drive thru and you have a cranky bitch with a knack for a fix! It’s awful! I’m not exactly hungry, but my cravings are literally driving me mad. Id slaughter my own cow for a cheeseburger right now. I’d dig up the potato needed to deep fry and cut into golden pieces of heaven. Then I’d dip them in a chocolate shake of love and wash it all down with a gigantic diet fucking Dr Pepper!
People who claim eating healthy is the path to a happier self have clearly never experienced the menage-a-trois of bacon and burger held together by the bonds of cheddar. Have they never known the velvety texture of a medium rare steak on their tongue or the flavor explosion of creamy mashed potatoes? What are they eating when the rest of us are chasing sleeves of Oreos down our gullet with ice cold milk? And what could possibly brighten their Tuesday without the humble culinary workhorse of the Taco???
I’m convinced these people who thrive on tofu and kale are dying on the inside. We just can’t see it because it’s disguised in a toned, healthy, trim meat suit. We can’t hear their cries for help because we’re too busy judging them for their beauty and loudly criticizing our own soft vessels.
I ate a fucking kale salad today. With edemame (which I can’t pronounce), and onions. Had it not been drenched in a Thai sesame dressing, I’d likely have gnawed my way through two bites before barreling into the Carl’s Jr across the street.
Getting healthy is hard. Changing your ways is hard. But when Parkour is on the line….sacrifices must be made. I hope to look back on this post in six months and laugh at my naivete. Rembering with agony and humiliation my days as a marshmallow before acceptance into the soulless kale worshipping masses. Sure, I’ll live a little more comfortably without a pendulous gut hindering my most basic of movements. But you better believe that if my days of activity come to an end, I will die with a plate of nachos by my bed and a vodka in my hand.
Here’s today’s glamor shot. Don’t let the pretty colors fool you. It was about as satisfying as wet white bread.